I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Randomize
