yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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