i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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