so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
