I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
