he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
