Pants 0. Shit 1.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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