he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
