I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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