chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
