I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
