I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
