we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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