Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
