my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
