Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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