No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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