That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
