Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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