singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
