Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this will be a night to untag.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
