it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
