We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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