Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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