He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
