left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize