dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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