do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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