did you get engaged???
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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