i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
