i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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