it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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