where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
