I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
