I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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