I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
