problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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