I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
