u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
