So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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