I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
