Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize