There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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