i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
