if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
