I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
