Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
