would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
