Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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