I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I need moral support for this bender
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
