His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
