So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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