i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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