what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize