Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
