Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
