Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
