do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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