I want to make a zoo with you.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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